Experience of a Rape Victim

In a country like Nigeria where insecurity is at its peak, the safety of many is uncertain, especially the female gender


There are so many things threatening the life and existence of women due to their tender and unique nature, and one of those things is the issue of RAPE. Just late last year, it was declared after a survey was carried out that Nigeria has a record of 27,698 cases of sexual and gender based violence between 2020 and 2023. Even with the intense penalty meted out to those who indulge in such crime, its quite unfortunate to still see more and more ladies fall victim.

What’s more, this rape experience has a long lasting effect on its victims and has a way of crippling the hope of one’s future. Amongst the many effects includes pregnancy, panic attacks, suicide, sexually transmitted infections, depression and stigmatization from the society, etc. Many ladies who fall victim of this harsh experience end up losing their self esteem, self worth and self value. Most of them find it difficult to share their experience for fear of what people may say. And the more they are quiet about it, the more difficult and longer it takes for them to recover.

Meanwhile, out of the many who would rather remain silent about the experience, is a bold young mother identified as Mrs Janet Jones, who was kind enough to share her story with us and how she got her life back on track. Her story goes, thus: My name is Janet Jones. I never had a singlehood like every other normal girl child. I was raped at the age of 15 and as a result, got pregnant. It all happened on a certain day I escorted a friend of mine who was doing a try out for modeling. She had a photo shoot to do that day and pleaded with me to go with her, which I did. It wasn’t just her who came for the try out. They were many and we went around 4pm. Meanwhile, in my house, once its 6pm, my parents usually lock the gate making sure no one goes out again for security reasons. This was because, at that time, my house was located at a very bushy and lonely path. The location was underdeveloped and there were no much houses around. Unfortunately, that day, the photo shoot took so long and finished around 9:30pm. Seeing we were already late, we tried as much as possible to get back home quickly, but it took another extra hour looking for a means of transportation, as it was already very late. When we finally got to our street, my friend whose house came first before mine couldn’t escort me to my house which was farther than hers. And couple with the fact that we were both home late, she needed to go home immediately to receive whatever punishment awaited her. After she left me, I was all alone on my street trekking down to my house, when suddenly, a young man blocked my way and forcefully took advantage of me. There was no one on the street. It was very dark and bushy, so I could barely recognize the face of the person.

When I got home that night after I was raped, my father was so mad at me because it was almost 12 midnight. His anger didn’t let him notice how I was walking and sobbing from the rape pains. So he gave me the beating of my life that very day and I cried so much. I was crying from both the pains of his beating and the pains from the rape. Fortunately, my mum noticed and began to suspect that something was wrong with me. But I was too scared to let her or anyone know, so I tried keeping it to myself. But my mum who has always been a very spiritually sensitive woman with an active discerning spirit, knew instantly that I was raped. That was when I finally confined in her. I was very overwhelmed with the thoughts of the experience, the effect it would have on my future and the shame it would bring to my family, especially to my parents who held very high positions in the church.

So I ran away from home and went to squat at a friend’s house, taking most of my things from home. By then, I had already discovered that I was pregnant at age 15. But my mum called me, asking me for my where about because she noticed my things were gone and my dad was also asking after me. So I told her I was pregnant, then she told me to come back home. When I went back home, my mum calmed me down and started reading some scriptures to me, then we prayed together. So my mum had to break the news to my dad and he cried bitterly. He was really heart broken but had to accept my new reality. I stayed with my family all through my pregnancy season and they were all there for me. When it was time to give birth, I had a C-section because I was too young to push out the baby naturally.

Literally, I was never single. I became a mother at a very young age. But after I gave birth, my parents made a decision of taking my baby girl away from me for a while, so I could focus on my education. They didn’t put the child up for adoption. But they gave the child to a couple who had only one child and was trusting God for another. We signed an undertaken stating that we were not giving up the child for adoption. But that until I get married, finish my education and get a new job, I will not have anything to do with the child, see the child or come close to the child. So they signed the undertaken and I also did. They accepted my child, gave her a name and even their surname.

My family made sure this entire journey was kept a secret from the public. After I had laid my daughter off, I started focusing on my education and prepared to write my JAMB and WAEC, because I was in the process of preparing to write them when I found out I was pregnant. So my education stopped because of the pregnancy. I had to rewrite WAEC. Meanwhile after I gave birth, I was at home for like two months, healing from the surgery scars and pains. My mum made sure I wasn’t doing anything so I could heal perfectly well. But I felt so idle and needed to find a job to do at the time.

Meanwhile I went through a lot of pain after child birth. I had serious constipation and was always stooling blood because my pelvic was not matured enough for child birth. It was a very painful experience but thank God I pulled through. Also, it was during my pregnancy season I gave my life to Christ and received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. So, having the knowledge of Christ helped me over come depression. When ever I would feel down casted, I would pray and read the Bible.

So after staying home for two months, I went to look for a job at a school. Little did I know that God was about opening a new chapter in my life from that day on. When I started working at the school, the school administrator who was a very young man started showing interest in me. After working together for a while, he proposed to me. I wasn’t sure if he would be able to accept me with my baggage of being a mother. To my greatest surprise, he still accepted me. He told me that my child is his and he would accept me with my baggage. Those words melted my heart, so I accepted his proposal. We started dating and we dated for 6 to 7years. In the year 2021 in October, we did our traditional wedding, and in April 2022, we did our white wedding. He helped me prepare for my JAMB by conducting JAMB lessons for me. He was really a major support system for me back then and now.

Meanwhile, when he went to my father to ask for my hand in marriage, it was really tough for my dad due to the rape experience. So because of that trauma, my dad didn’t want any other disappointments. My father snubbed my husband a lot during those times, but my husband who was a very reasonable, responsible and understanding man was patient enough to wait for my dad to come around. After a while, my dad finally accepted and today they are very close.

One thing that helped me, was the fact that I never listened to side talks of people after my rape experience. If I had, I would have been demoralized and would have not been where I am today. By the special grace of God, I went to school, studied accounting and graduated with a 2:1. Also with the help of God, I got married even before I graduated to the most calm, understanding and loving man whom I don’t deserve. My marriage is blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who I had naturally and not through C-section this time. I also learnt how to sow and bake very well. Baking really helped me while I was in school. I never allowed my experience discourage me or make me become useless to my family and the society. Rather, I became very useful. Even though am still heading to where God wants me to be in life, am fulfilled and I’ve accomplished a lot within few years, despite my rape experience.

God also used the people around me to help me get to this point. I know of a lady who had same experience as I did, but she’s still in her parents’ house receiving insults from them. She’s really going through a lot psychologically. She hasn’t been able to go back to school because of her child who was gotten from her rape incidence. So she’s still in her Ordinary level. But I was more fortunate to have parents who helped me during that season of my life and made sure I went to school. My husband was also used by God to keep me focused. But personally, I stayed focused and determined to finish my education and accomplish more in life.